Friday, June 03, 2005

Exclusive: Transcipts of Unedited Grewal Tapes

That's right folks I have a transcript of the unedited Grewal tapes. I got this, like, oh, two weeks ago but it was on a Mac disk and I was too lazy to convert it until now. I swear I have not in any way altered it and I think it would be best if I release what I have in ridiculously unrepresentative small portions.

I have taken the liberty of bolding the sections that seem to have been re-arranged to produce parts of the tapes released by Grewal.

UD: Well, Gurmant I thought I should have you over so that we can discuss how there is no offer on the table, never has been an offer, and never will be an offer.

GG: Uh, okay. Hey, Ujjal do you like my tie pin?

UD: Yeah sure, it's hella cool.

GG: Great, would you mind talking clearly and directly into it?

UD: Uhhhh, sure...

UD: Oh that must be the pizza, excuse me.

UD: Oh wow, it looks like the pizza delivery boy is Tim Murphy, the Prime Minister's Chief of Staff. What are you doing delivery pizza, Tim.

TM: Oh, hi, Ujjal, I'm just trying to pick up some extra cash on the side. That is a nice doormat you have there. It is a welcoming mat that has a lot of nice comfy fur on it.

UD: Yes, thank you. I'm sure rewards are there at some point, right. No one can forget such gestures but they require certain degree of deniability. Right, you understand things.

TM: Yes...deniability. Please don't tell the PM that I am moonlighting. The big guy would demand free pizza and you know how mad Sheila would be if she found out I was helping him cheat on his diet.

UD: Hey Tim, why don't you join us for some pizza. I was just talking to Gurmant here about how we can make absolutely no deals for him to cross the floor. [whispers] He seems to have reached a zen acceptance of this and seems to enjoy shooting the shit so what the hell, right?

TM: Yeah, sure.

[Eating noises heard in background]

UD: This is good pizza. You know who really likes pizza? Joe Volpe, Belinda Stronach, and Scott Brison.

GG: Hahaha...what a rascal Joe is. It is good that I don't think he libelled me with those accusations and I definitely will not be suing him.

TM: Yeah, it would definitely be inappropriate for us to ask the Ethics Commissioner to issue an interim report on your behalf, Gurmant. Well, I should get back to work now.

[to be continued...]


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